Black Jack

You don't choose the cards you are dealt
You just choose the way you play them

I sat on my chair

Looked at the cards in my father's hand
A Ten and a Six
"Hey, Amal," he said, "Hit!"
A king -strength, supposedly
Disappointment

Why 21?
21 is the age you have to be to start drinking
21 is the last year she spent healthy
21 is the number of years he spent hoping, fighting
21 is the number if decades he was sentenced to spend in prison
21 is the age she was when she gave birth to her daughter, Aseerah

As you had your first legal martini
She sat in her meter-by-meter prison cell thinking
Wondering how to play her cards
As you had your first legal martini
She sat there writing a goodbye letter in a card
To give to her daughter who will literally never see sunlight


"على هذه الأرض ما يستحق الحياة"
She wrote to her
"These are your cards"
She wrote
"Now go play!"
"I stood in front of a soldier
Hopeful head held high
Hands held behind my back
Fists clenched into resistance
So her threw me here
I played my cards well though
No regrets"

You don't choose the cards you are dealt
You just choose the way you play them

I sat on the chair

Looked at the cards in my hand
A Queen, and an Ace
"Hey Amal," I screamed, "BURN!"